Ted Helm

• Psychotherapy
• Group Therapy
• Philosophy
• Bio
• Directions

From Nice Guys to Good Men

The group is currently full, but I have an active waiting list for when space becomes available. If you may want to join the group in the future, I recommend getting on the list now.

From Nice Guys to Good Men is a weekly therapy group developed for men who are dissatisfied, unhappy, and who try to hide their faults in order to be loved. Do you know a man like this?

• He ignores or hides his own wants and needs, hoping others will meet them anyway.
• His daily mood is determined by approval from others
• He avoids make-or-break conversations such as asking for promotions, initiating breakups, or asking someone out.
• He has trouble setting boundaries, while resenting loved ones for violations
• He avoids conflict
• He feels better when giving (often with hidden strings)
• He can stay in relationships long after others would leave
• He talks about changing his life, but rarely acts
• He may report a chronic lack of intimacy and connection
• He may idealize (and occasionally angrily devalue) loved ones
• He usually seems to function "pretty well" - he can support himself, and find occasional relationships - but he feels deeply dissatisfied.
• He may identify as "codependent."

These Nice Guys are not actually very nice at all. This kind of Nice Guy pattern is not a path to a happy life. Its opposite, "Belligerent Jerk," is also not a path to a happy life.

From Nice Guys To Good Men

Group therapy is the most effective way to advance your recovery from Nice Guy syndrome. In this setting, men can:

• build strong relationships with other men
• reveal yourself honestly
• develop integrity
• accept yourself without indulging yourself
• learn skills for satisfying relationships in love and work
• practice authenticity, genuineness and emotional relatedness
• build a rich, full, abundant life

From Nice Guys to Good Men will be a place to get real - we will cover the full range of experiences: work, love, sex, family, history, illness, growth, loss, relapse, and recovery. You will have the opportunity to make lasting changes that stay with you long after graduating from the group. As with all therapy groups, you will not be expected to 'check your baggage at the door.' We'll do a lot of here-and-now discussion, so you can practice recovery in real time. You'll find the process supportive and challenging, fun and serious, stretching and contemplative, introspective and broadening.

Practical matters:

• Fee is $50.00 per session OR in-network co-pay.
• I take several health insurances.
• Group size is limited to nine men.
• Group runs for 90 minutes, beginning and ending on time.
• Group will meet Tuesday evenings in Central Square, Cambridge.
• Group members are expected to plan a graduation from the group when they achieve their aims.
• A six month commitment is required to begin.

Prospective members:

Call or e-mail to schedule an individual meeting, at no charge - so you can interview me, so I can get a sense of you and your needs, and to orient you to the group. All self-identified Nice Guys - hetero, gay, and trans - are eligible.
This group is based primarily on Robert Glover's work and his book, No More Mr. Nice Guy!, but will use other evidence-based psychotherapies, such as DBT, as well.
Assess yourself for "Nice Guy syndrome" here.

Ted Helm has been leading psychotherapy groups for more than 10 years, including as the director of an intensive group therapy program. He has been involved in the NMMNG recovery community since 2000 and currently consults to the Boston-area NG support group. He is a certified No More Mr. Nice Guy! therapist.